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| Name: |
HubCap
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| Subject: |
JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH
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Date:
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3/4/2011 7:46:28 AM
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> Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother,
> "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
> The mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is
> the happiest day of her life."
> The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom
> wearing black?"
>
> ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
>
> A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could,
> trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord,
> please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While
> she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her
> clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and
> started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord,
> please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first
> boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a
> poem, they give him $50." The second boy says,"That's nothing. My Dad
> scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him
> $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few
> words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to
> collect all the money!"
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no
> male pall bearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service,
> she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them
> to take me out when I'm dead."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had
> to arrest your own mother?"
> He answered, "Call for backup."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
> with them to Jerusalem.
> A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
> five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy
> father and thy mother,' she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches
> us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
> Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
> At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including
> human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how
> Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother
> noticed him lying down as though he was ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is
> the matter?"
> Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have
> a wife."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong
> preaching on the devil.
> One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
> The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's
> probably just your Dad
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