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Name:	HubCap -	Reply
Subject:	One Liners.......
Date:	6/8/2011 7:23:36 AM

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that..... 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my b agpipes. Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead ! " The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!" I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest pen#s she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg." I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse. My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheelchair. I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening. " The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.

Name:	muddauber -	Reply
Subject:	One Liners.......
Date:	6/8/2011 7:37:15 AM

lol to self. Not a one I'd share with other half. ER visits are too expensive.

Name:	architect -	Reply
Subject:	One Liners.......
Date:	6/9/2011 2:54:39 PM

So are funeral expense!

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