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Name:   LonghornBoater - Email Member
Subject:   Why Marry?
Date:   12/13/2011 12:06:57 PM

Why MARRY?

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
__________

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, i am. i married the wrong man.'

__________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
__________

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
__________

A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'i don't know son, i'm still paying.'
__________

A young son asked,
'is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
__________

Then there was a woman who said,
'i never knew what real happiness was until i got married,
and by then, it was too late.'
__________

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________

if you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

__________

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
__________

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
__________

'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, i pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to
forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if i pray for
Strength i'll just beat him to death'
__________

AND NOW FOR THe FAVORiTe!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they
find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit
onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he
taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of
rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me
crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'if you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR
stick,
we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'





Name:   architect - Email Member
Subject:   I once heard the story
Date:   12/13/2011 7:02:08 PM (updated 12/13/2011 7:04:48 PM)

of a Methodist bishop who, while attending a conference, was introduced to a prominent parishioner by a minister. The church member told the bishop that he and his wife were attending the conference during the day and staying in town to have dinner that night to celebrate their wedding anniversary. The bishop expresses his congratulations and asks how long they had been married. The man replies that they were married 40 years ago that very day and that "in all those 40 years we have never had an argument". After the man says his goodbye the bishop looks at the minister and advises "Preacher, I would be very cautious with that gentleman if I were you." The minister replies "Why would you say that? He is a model church member." The bishop answers "Well, I'd be cautious because he's as likely as not to lie about other things."







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