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| Name: |
HubCap
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| Subject: |
PARAPROSDOKIANS
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Date:
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2/9/2012 1:01:17 PM
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> PARAPROSDOKIANS... > > I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition: > "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. > > > 1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. > > 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. > > 3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. > > 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. > > 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. > > 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. > > 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. > > 8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. > > 9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. > > 10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. > > 11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks. > > 12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' > I put 'DOCTOR.' > > 13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. > > 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. > > 15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. > > 16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. > > 17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. > > 18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. > > 19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. > > 20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. > > 21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. > > 22. You're never too old to learn something stupid. > > 23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. > > 24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. > > 25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. > > 26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. > > 27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip. > > 28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were. > > 29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila. > > 30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. > > > > Words of Wisdom: > > "The early bird may get the worm, > but the second mouse gets the cheese."
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