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Name: |
HubCap
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Subject: |
ANDY ROONEY ON SEX!
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Date:
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2/18/2013 2:50:43 PM
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ANDY ROONEY ON SEX!1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big penis or a good memory.... I don't remember what I chose.2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.8. Virginity can be cured.9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.13. Question: What's an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed,' many men still sleep with their wives! |
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Name: |
architect
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Subject: |
ANDY ROONEY ON SEX!
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Date:
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2/19/2013 8:02:01 AM
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Many years ago I heard a TV interview with a diplomat from a newly freed African nation (don't remember which) that had held free elections but was still having many internal problems to the point some were saying the country needed a coup to put in a stronger leader. The diplomat defended the elected leaders by saying "Democracy is like sex for a man...when it is good it is very very good indeed and when it is bad...well it is still pretty good,"
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