Name:	hub -	Reply
Subject:	Kidd Stuff
Date:	10/9/2014 8:20:48 AM

Last week, i stated this woman was the ugliest woman i had ever seen. i have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain <><> The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns <><> Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge <><> Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain <><> By all means, marry. if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates <><> i was married by a judge. i should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx <><> My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante <><> i have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor <><> Only irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine <><> My luck is so bad that if i bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield <><> Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan <><> Until i was thirteen, i thought my name was SHUT UP. - Joe Namath <><> i don't feel old. i don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope <><> i never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - W. C. Fields <><> We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers <><> Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill <><> Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller <><> Sometimes, when i look at my children, i say to myself, 'Barbara, you should have remained a virgin.' - Barbara Bush (mother of George W. Bush) <><> i had a rose named after me and i was very flattered. But i was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' - Sarah Palin <><> By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal And the cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good spit it out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door.