| Name: |
LonghornBoater
- 
|
|
| Subject: |
Thoughts for 2015
|
|
Date:
|
1/3/2015 11:09:13 AM
|
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten
minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
· Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't
met yet!
· The day the world runs out of wine is just too terrible to think
about!
I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
· Old age is coming at a really bad time!
· When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... now, as a
grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!
· The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that
down, I'll remember it."
· Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I
finally snap!
· I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very
wise.
· My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that
needs work.
· Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just
a piece of paper.
· If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
· The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back
"no" which is shorter than "yes".
· · I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll
do that second week.
· When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?
· I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my kids took it!
· Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!
· Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna
transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
· Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW.
· Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
· Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
· At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering
what I came in there for.
|
New Post
Search
Jokes Forum
Reply
»
Texas Lakes
»
Eagle Mountain Lake
Login
|
Home
