These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease".

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.".

 

"He had delusions of adequacy.".

- Walter Kerr.

 

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.".

- Winston Churchill.

 

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.".

- Clarence Darrow.

 

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.".

- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

 

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.".

- Moses Hadas.

 

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.".

- Mark Twain.

 

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.".

- Oscar Wilde.

 

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.".

- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ....  if there is one.".

- Winston Churchill, in response.

 

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.".

- Stephen Bishop.

 

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator.".

- John Bright.

 

"I've just learned about his illness.  Let's hope it's nothing trivial.".

- Irvin S.  Cobb.

 

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.".

- Samuel Johnson.

 

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.".

- Paul Keating.

 

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.".

- Charles, Count Talleyrand.

 

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.".

- Forrest Tucker.

 

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?".

- Mark Twain.

 

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.".

- Mae West.

 

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.".

- Oscar Wilde.

 

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...  for support rather than illumination.".

- Andrew Lang (1844-1912).

 

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music.".

- Billy Wilder.

 

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But I'm afraid this wasn't it.".

- Groucho Marx.