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Name:
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HubCap
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Subject:
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SENIORS IN FLORIDA
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Date:
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1/19/2012 11:55:46 AM
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SENIORS IN FLORIDA
>
> Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home
in Miami reminiscing.
>
> The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and
demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could
buy for a penny.
>
> The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much
bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could
buy for a penny a piece..
>
> The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but
I remember the guy you're talking about.
>
>
> **********************************************************
>
>
>
> A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in Century Village , a
Florida Adult community.
>
> A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench.
>
> After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
>
> He replies, 'I lived here several years ago.'
>
> 'So, where were you all these years?'
>
> 'In prison,' he says.
>
> 'Why did they put you in prison?'
>
> He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
>
> 'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?'
>
>
> **********************************************************
>
> Two elderly people lived in Century Village community, he was a
widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years.
>
> One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the
Clubhouse.
>
> The two were at the same table, across from one another.
>
> As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and
finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'
>
> After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered
'Yes. Yes, I will!'
>
> The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to
their respective places.
>
> Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say
'no'?'
>
>
> He couldn't remember.
>
> Try as he might, he just could not recall.
>
> Not even a faint memory.
>
> With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
>
>
> First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to.
>
> Then he reviewed the lovely evening past..
>
> As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, 'When I asked if
you would marry me, did you say ' Yes' or did you say 'No'?'
>
>
> He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will'
and I meant it with all my heart.'
>
> Then she continued, 'And I am so glad that you called, because I
couldn't remember who had asked me.'
> **********************************************************
>
> A man was telling his neighbor in Miami , 'I just bought a new
hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it is state of the art. It's
perfect.'
>
> 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
>
> 'Twelve thirty.'
> **********************************************************
>
> Ice Cream Parlor
>
> A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice
cream parlor in St Petersburg , and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a
stool.
>
> After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
>
> The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
>
> 'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids
> **********************************************************
>
>
> Life is short!
>
> Break the rules!
>
> Forgive quickly!
>
> Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably.
>
> And never regret anything that made you smile.
>
> The best things in life are free, until the government finds out and
taxes them
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