Jokes: New Directives

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	Name:	HubCap -
	Subject:	New Directives
	Date:	1/23/2010 5:39:57 AM

>
> Due to the climate of political correctness now
pervading America
>
>
> Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians
will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.'
>
>
> You must now refer to them as
>
>
> APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .
>
> And furthermore
>
>
> HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY
CORRECT:
>
>
> 1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
> ' BREASTED AMERICAN. '
>
>
> 2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
>
>
> 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
>
>
> 3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
>
>
> 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION
SUPERHIGHWAY..'
>
>
> 4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
>
>
> 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
>
>
> 5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
>
>
> ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
>
>
> 6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
>
>
> ' LOW COST SERVICE PROVIDER.'
>
>
> HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY
CORRECT:
>
>
> 1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has
developed a
>
> 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
>
>
> 2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
>
>
> ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
>
>
> 3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
>
> ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
>
>
> 4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
>
> 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
>
>
> 5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL A**' - He
develops a case of
>
> RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
>
> (Loved this one!)
>
>
> 6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of
his pants - It's
>
> 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE'

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New Directives - HubCap - 1/23/2010 5:39:57 AM

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