> > A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. As he 
> > wondered how in the heck he would ever do that, he ran 
> > across an ad in the newspaper for a "GUARANTEED WEIGHT 
> > LOSS PROGRAM". Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to 
> > himself. But desperate, he called them up and subscribed 
> > to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program. 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > The next day there was a knock on his door, and when he 
> > answered, there stood before him a voluptuous, athletic, 
> > 19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but air, some Nike 
> > running shoes, and a sign around her neck. She introduces 
> > herself as a representative of the weight loss company. 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > The sign read, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" 
> > Without a second thought he took off after her. A few miles 
> > later, huffing and puffing, he finally caught her and had 
> > his way with her. After they were through and she left, 
> > he thought to himself, "I like the way this company does 
> > business!" The same girl showed up for the next two days and 
> > the same thing happened. 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > On the fourth day, he weighed himself and was delighted 
> > to find he had lost 
> > 10 lbs. as promised. He called the company and ordered 
> > their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there was a knock 
> > on the door and there stood the most stunning, beautiful, 
> > sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing 
> > but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that 
> > read, "If you catch me, you can have me." 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > He was out the door after her like a shot. This girl was 
> > in excellent shape and it took him a while to catch her, 
> > but when he did, it was worth every cramp and wheeze. 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > For the next four days, the same routine happened. Much 
> > to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighed himself and 
> > found he had lost another 20 lbs, as promised. 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > He decided to go for broke and called the company to 
> > order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asked 
> > the representative on the phone. 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > "This is our most rigorous program." 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > "Absolutely," he replied, "I haven't felt this good in 
> > years" 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > The next day there was a knock at the door and when he 
> > opened it he found a muscular guy standing there wearing 
> > nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck 
> > that read, "If I catch you, you're mine."