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Name:
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HubCap
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Subject:
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BIBLE STUDY HUMOR
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Date:
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7/11/2010 7:17:26 AM
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> > LOT 'S WIFE > The Sunday School teacher was describing > how > > Lot 's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little > Jason > interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,' he > announced > > triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!' > > GOOD SAMARITAN > A Sunday school teacher was telling > her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you > saw > > a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you > do?' A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd > throw > up.' > > DID NOAH FISH? > A Sunday school teacher asked, > 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ? > ''No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms.' > > HIGHER POWER > A Sunday school teacher said to her > children, 'We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in > Bible > > times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is? One > child blurted out, ' Aces!' > > MOSES AND THE RED SEA > Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his > mother what he had learned in Sunday School. 'Well, Mom, our teacher told > us > > how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the > Israelites out of Egypt . When he got to the Red Sea , he had his army > build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he > radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the > bridge and all the Israelites were saved.' > > 'Now, Joey, is that really what your > teacher > > taught you?' his Mother asked.. > > 'Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way > the teacher did, you'd never believe it!' > > THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD > A Sunday School teacher decided to > have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the > Bible - > > Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little > Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. > After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. > On the day that the kids were > scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so > nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said > proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.' > > UNANSWERED PRAYER > The preacher's 5 year-old daughter > noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment > before > > starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. > 'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his > daughter was so observant of his messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help > me > preach a good sermon.' > 'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked. > > > UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER > During the minister's prayer one > Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy's > mother > was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, > 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?' > Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to > teach me to whistle, and He did!' > > ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS > When my daughter, Kelli, said her > bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and > every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had > finished > the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, 'And all girls.' This soon became > part > > of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the > best > of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you always add the part about all > girls?' > Her response, 'Because everybody > always > > finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!' > > SAY A PRAYER > > Little Johnny and his family were > having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother' s house. Everyone was seated > around the table as the food was being served. Whe
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