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Name:
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BigFoot
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Subject:
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2010 BIGFOOT FORUM AWARDS
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Date:
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12/23/2010 12:43:39 PM (updated 12/23/2010 1:05:43 PM)
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As the Mexican bartender said in “The Three Amigos”, this town is getting too tough for me! Outrageous posts coupled with disappearing brain cells are leaving me woefully inadequate for the task. Then you have
the LM version of Dueling Banjos featuring Lakngulf v. Rude Evin and Maverick v. Jlazc (now McGill). Mix in LNG in a leg cast…I mean FORGET IT!! But I will take a stab at it anyway. Most years start out innocently enough…not this one:
CHICKEN FEATHERED CRYSTAL BALL Award goes to Lakngulf for leading us into 2010 with the Eclectic Chicken Auction New Year Predictions (search lakngulf for 12/31/09). Outrageously funny! My favorite--Maddog thumping the icicle…better trade that crystal ball, LNG, as it apparently did not foresee the cast coming!
SHE GOT RUNNED OVER BY A DAMN’D OLE TRAIN Award goes to Muddauber. Just as David Allan Coe supplied the missing ingredients to make the perfect Country and Western song, dauber, with just one word, made the perfect LM post. In a thread about smoke, Lamont thought it should be smoke..and mirrors to expand the thread’s horizon. Muddauber took it up a notch and added bumpers. Smoke…and mirrors…and bumpers…Gotta cut your mind loose on this one!
GOOD FOR GOOSE, GANDER NOT Award goes to Rude Evin. In February, NCII bragged on her husband for buying her a badly needed multi-use tool for her work. Applying the same principle (somewhat), Rude buys his wife a table saw--she was not impressed. Undaunted, Rude travels to Greensboro, NC to get her a classic ’63 Austin-Healey…struck out again…but Rude lived happily ever after!
EITHER OR BOTH Award goes to Summer Lover. On March 30, LNG posted his poetic gem, Rude Awakening. Summer’s response? “Things slow in Monkey Town today? ..OR “one slow day and a few Slo Gins?” This thread spawned an outbreak of poetic posts including a very “crafty” one for NCII written by Gonefishin.
DUCKING, SHUCKING, JIVING Award goes to Feb for explaining to us the difference between the three maneuvers. “Ducking is when you get scared--Shucking is when you pee your pants--Jiving is when you slip on your own pee attempting to flee!” Now, I ask you, who among us has not done all that? However, I will say that it has not happened to me since I gave up pre-dawn Black Friday shopping at Wal-Mart!
DECIMAL POINT RELOCATION Award goes to Ulysses E. McGill. On June 30, Maddog invited forumites to run in his LM 10k Road Race. McGill, in response, announced his first annual Little Kowaliga .001k Road Race where participants walk or run to his garage fridge, get a beer, and meet up at his pontoon boat for a cruise of Kowaliga Bay! He added that “slots are limited”. I thought about joining up for that one thinking that I might could get one of the other participants to bring the beer to me.
RINGIE DINGIE FOR THE RINGHIE DINGHIE Award goes to MrHodja. In July, NCII posted a picture of her inflatable dinghy prompting the Hodja man to pose the question, “would an inner tube be called a ringhie dinghie?” He then crawled back into his cage as promised.
MOST DIVERSIFIED THREAD Award goes to “Sandy Creek Gator?”. Posted in July, this one had it all--tales of four-foot rubber gators spooking geese, banjo music, gator nuggets, moonshine, Bigfoot (the real one--not me) in a gator suit snatching fresh ’maters from lakngulf! …again, shades of David Allan Coe…
POOR LITTLE JOHNNY Award goes to Lakeshore. In an August discussion of environmental hazards (Styrofoam-banned? Burn?), Lakeshore related a story about his Chevron station and how he tried to warn people (parents) not to let children (whose height put them at the gas cap level) stand too close to the filler-neck. One mother’s response? “but he LOVES the smell”. Lakeshore closed the post with “Breathe deep, little Johnny, breathe deep!”
GOLDEN, BUT PAINFUL Award goes to Casey, an infrequent poster, who always has something insightful to say. When the “Golden Rule” surfaced in the aforementioned environmental hazard thread, Casey added that “the Golden Rule works great--until you meet a masochist!” Ouch! Response by Lakeshore? “He who has the Gold makes the Rule!”
POWER OF SUGGESTION Award goes to MrHodja for his “eschew obfuscation” post….not sure what it means but I sure put a dent in my jar of cashews after reading it! Hodja had some other posts with strange references that did not leave me quite as hungry…squirrel carcasses whose “sufficiency had been suffansified” and something about “gaeogi”…wish I had not googled that last one!
COMIC RELIEF AWARD: There were many good candidates for this one but the award goes deservedly to Hubcap, legend of the Jokes Forum. Can you say prolificity? Well, I can’t either but Hubcap has provided many big “spews” and boosted the sale of screen-cleaning aids. Thanks, Hubcap…you are appreciated!
NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU DON’T Award goes to Roswellric who posted in July about having a boat once…but he put it in the shop about 1989, he thinks…each inquiry as to its status was always met with the old familiar “not quite finished but the part is ordered”. Methinks he never got the boat back….same thing happened to me just 2 years ago. I had a bass boat that I put in the shop for a general tune-up…each time I called, they said “not quite finished. Two months later, I got a call from a guy who said he now owns the boat and wanted me to help him get a tag for it! TRUE story! Of course, this was not as shocking to me as it might seem. In 1982, I had a neighbor in Sandy Creek Estates try to sell my lake lot without my knowledge or permission!
FUNNIEST THREAD EVER Award: August 17 thread called “small engine repair” cracked me up big-time…not sure how to describe it but from my notes: “looking for funny in strange places”…”wookin for nub in all the wong paces” …”small engine repair is double entendre” all posted by LNG…DirtDiva kept fueling the fire with her “looking for a pool boy” comments and suggesting Lifer show in Speedos..McGill adding, “gotta get that thought out of my mind quick”…and CAT with “she calls alligators lizards” comments…o.k. maybe I did have a couple of Coors Lights when I read this one…but it is funny..I think…
BUSINESS PERSON OF THE YEAR Award goes to CAT! We are delighted in your move to Lake Martin and wish you a very prosperous 2011. This man will not sell your boat without your permission. You da man, CAT!
O.K., I know you are tired of reading or maybe I should say that if you are still reading, remember I did warn you of the issue with the brain cells. In closing, I wish to thank Webmaster for all he does to provide us with such a great forum. Also, many thanks to all those forum members who work daily to improve our community and consistently provide us with invaluable information throughout the year.
MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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