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Name:
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HubCap
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Subject:
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JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH
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Date:
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3/4/2011 7:46:28 AM
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> Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, > "Why is the bride dressed in white?" > The mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is > the happiest day of her life." > The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom > wearing black?" > > ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ > > A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, > trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, > please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While > she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her > clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and > started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, > please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!" > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first > boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a > poem, they give him $50." The second boy says,"That's nothing. My Dad > scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him > $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few > words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to > collect all the money!" > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no > male pall bearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, > she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them > to take me out when I'm dead." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had > to arrest your own mother?" > He answered, "Call for backup." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus > with them to Jerusalem. > A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her > five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy > father and thy mother,' she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches > us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" > Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including > human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how > Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother > noticed him lying down as though he was ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is > the matter?" > Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have > a wife." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong > preaching on the devil. > One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" > The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's > probably just your Dad
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