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Name:
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HubCap
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Subject:
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Southerners or Suthunuhs
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Date:
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3/28/2012 4:55:11 AM
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Suthunuhs!
Southerners know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southerners know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
Southerners know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone WithThe Wind
Southerners know their religions:
Bapdiss
Methdiss
Football
Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
Southerners know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going
to town, be back directly."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl
in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
the term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can
be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines… and when we're
"in line,"... we talk to everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.
_____
In the South, “y'all” is singular, “all y'all” is plural.
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and
coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast
food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right without Tabasco , and that
fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her sweet
little heart"... and go your own way.
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your
Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and
call me in the morning. Bless your little heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they’re fixin' to
have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !
There ain't no magazine named "Northern Living" for good reason. There
ain't nobody interested in livin' up north, nobody would buy the
magazine!
Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish
they had a’been! If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little
heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.
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