Name:   architect - Subject:   For St Patricks day Date:   3/17/2014 8:28:04 PM (updated 3/17/2014 8:30:30 PM)

Brendan and Seamus are out on Lough Corrib in County Galway.  They are close to the bottom of their Bushmills and planning to call it a day when Seamus feels a tug on his line.  He reels in a shiny metal object...an old oil lamp.  Seamus is not a believer in myths but can't resist giving it a rub...instantaneously a Genie appears "Masters you may have one wish but only one,. what say ye?"  Before Brendan can say a word Seamus shouts "Oi wish that this lough wair fool of good Oirish wusky."  In a flash the waters of the lough take on the light amber color of the glorious liquid.  Seamus is ecstatic while Brendan is appalled.  "Jaesus, Mary and Jozef Seamus, air ye a fookin idiot? Who boot an idiot wishes fair the lough to becum wusky?" Seamus is confused "Brendan, do ye not caernsiderate it a good thing fair us to hav an oonlimited supploi of wusky?" " Oi, Tis fair shure good to possess sooch, boot not in this way...cud ye not see Seamus?...Did ye not stop to think?  Froom now on we will hae ta pee in the dam boat!"

Equal time for the Scots

A Scotman who has obviously had a few drams walks into a Glasgow library and inquires at the front desk " Dee ye hae ainy boooks on suicide?"  The dour old spinster librarian looks up "Bugger off wae ye...Y'ill nae bring it back!"