Name:   hub - Subject:   Why Teachers DRINK Date:   9/22/2014 12:37:23 PM

 The following questions were in last year's GED examination. > > (These are genuine answers). > > Q. What is a turbine? > > A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches > > puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head. > > Q. How is dew formed. > > A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. > > Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on > > A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed. > > Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections? > > A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. > > Q. What are steroids? > > A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. > > (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope) > > Q. What happens to your body as you age > > A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. > > Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? > > A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. > > (So true) > > Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. > > A. Premature death. > > Q. What is artificial insemination? > > A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. > > Q. How can you delay milk turning sour? > > A. Keep it in the cow. > > (Simple, but brilliant) > > Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)? > > A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U (WTF!) > > Q. What is the fibula? > > A. A small lie. > > Q. What does 'varicose' mean? > > A. Nearby. > > Q. What is the most common form of birth control? > > A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. > > (That would work) > > Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' > > A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome. > > Q. What is a seizure? > > A. A Roman Emperor. > > (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) > > Q. What is a terminal illness? > > A. When you are sick at the airport. > > (Irrefutable) > > Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? > > A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. > > (brilliant) > > Q. Name the four seasons. > > A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.