Name:   MAJ USA RET - Subject:   COCKROACHES AND TRILOBITES Date:   11/9/2014 12:31:52 PM

It’s such a hoot when a Yankee first encounters one of our Alabama cockroaches. 

Cockroaches are proof that the Paleozoic trilobites were more intelligent than paleontologists give them credit. After more than 270 million years of aquatic, bottom dwelling existence, the critters crawled out onto the land and survived the Permian Extinction (250 mya). They even coexisted with lawyers… uh, sharks… in the Ordovician period (450–420 mya). Once on land, they began to show up in the fossil record of the Carboniferous period… that’s BEFORE the Permian Extinction! 

But… THERE’S MORE. 

During the great KT (Cretaceous - Tertiary) Extinction (Alvarez y Alvarez; http://www.sciencemag.org/content/327/5970/1214.abstract)... cockroaches… along with trees that developed flowers and shed leaves… DEVELOPED BIG SEX ORGANS! 

(stop laughing… I’m serious here!) 

Carl Sagan and Arthur C. Clarke… eminent scientists… and both predeceasing cockroaches… predicted that cockroaches would inherit the earth after the next global catastrophe (thus outliving Al Gore). They’ll be here after… you choose [ ] the next big asteroid strike [ ] the eruption of the Yellowstone super volcano [ ] Gorbal warming   [   ] the supernova explosion of the nearest yellow star… you cannot chose the next ice age… they’ve already proven, multiple times, that they can do THAT. 

So, my warrior friends… KNOW your adversary… i.e. the cockroaches are laughing! 

(PS: NEVER attempt to write scientific commentary while listening to Grateful Dead or CSNY.)

- - LMF Curmudgeon