You ARE obviously racist. The fact that you may not recognize your racism does not make you any less so. The arguments you make that are intended to establish that you are not racist (boiled down, meaning "I know a black person, therefore I can't be a racist") simply reinforce that embarrassingly, pathetically obvious fact. I am not trying to make you or anyone else feel guilty - that is a self-indulgent, negative emotion - I am trying (probably in vain) to get you to pursue just a little bit of self-awareness. As uncomfortable as that pursuit can make you, it will eventually lead you in the right direction.