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Name:
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LifeTime Laker
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Subject:
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To Richard Branson
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Date:
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2/14/2007 10:28:28 AM
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I read of your 25 million dollar prize to whomever figures a way to remove the carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. After long and studious consideration I planted a tree. Then I considered how I could get others to do the same. Then it hit me!! How about a day, sorta like a holiday, when everybody else would be encouraged to do the same. We could call it Johnny Apple Seed Day, or Hug a Tree Day, or some similar catchy type phrase.
After extensive research I discovered that there already exists such a day :(
It is appropriately named Arbor Day. Well, obviously this isn't working!! We have had National Arbor Day since 1970, yet the sun has gotten hotter causing us humans to emit more CO2, leading to more 'greenhouse gasses' and a barely measurable fluctuation in surface temps here on Earth.. A little thought and consideration led me to the conclusion that for some reason this 'National Arbor Day' thing isn't working.
Then it hit me. The problem is REPUBLICANS. I discovered in my research that the last Friday in April was proclaimed National Arbor Day by (brace yourself) RICHARD NIXON!! Obviously he knew that in the 21st century the vehicle of choice for many Americans would be those big, ugly, gas guzzling SUV's. So therefore any benefit derived from the trees planted on Arbor Day would be small compared to the harm done by Republicans driving their SUV's to the garden centers to purchase the trees.
It is all so obvious to me now. The real culprit of course is "big oil". Obviously their goal is to destroy the planet by this time next year, and global warming was the fastest way to do it!! They must destroy the planet before Hillary gets elected and can 'take' their profits!!
So Mr. Branson, here is my plan. We move Arbor Day to a Monday and make it a federal holiday so that it will get the recognition it so rightly deserves. In order to encourage the planting of the trees we must change the name of the holiday so to some touchy, feely, warm and fuzzy name. But most important of all is we must institute MANDATORY tree planting. I realize logistics could be a nightmare, so in order to relieve stress on private carriers we could have ALgore and Queen Nancy deliver some of the trees by using the extra space on their private jets.
Just envision a new holiday where all the good citizens are working together to save the planet!! Families working together to plant their little seedling, tilling the soil, adding the natural compost (no fertilizer of course) and finally placing their little government issue CO2 converter in the ground. Telling the story to the children of how they are 'working together to save their village' so it will still be there when their children need to be raised.
And then of course everybody gathers round while the grill is fired up and some good ole BBQ thrown on to celebrate.
I'll take that in a cashiers check please.
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