(Logan Martin Lake Specific)
4,311 messages
Updated 1/15/2024 10:58:34 AM
Lakes Online Forum
83,605 messages
Updated 4/25/2024 9:33:24 PM
Lakes Online Forum
5,193 messages
Updated 4/3/2024 3:47:36 AM
(Logan Martin Lake Specific)
126 messages
Updated 12/23/2022 9:21:15 AM
Lakes Online Forum
4,169 messages
Updated 4/15/2024 11:05:05 PM
Lakes Online Forum
4,260 messages
Updated 3/24/2024 9:24:45 AM
Lakes Online Forum
2,976 messages
Updated 3/20/2024 11:53:43 PM
Lakes Online Forum
98 messages
Updated 4/15/2024 1:00:58 AM
|
|
|
|
Name:
|
LifeTime Laker
- 
|
|
Subject:
|
How we evolved.
|
|
Date:
|
3/23/2008 6:49:07 PM
|
|
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers.
They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to
the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.
These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct
subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning
of agriculture.
Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while
our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,
they just stayed close to the brewery.
That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking
and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer.
This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women.
The rest became known as girliemen. Some noteworthy liberal
achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group
therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how
to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
Liberals are symbolized by the jackazz.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water.
They eat raw fish but like their beef well-done.
Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers
in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.
Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to
make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women.
Conservatives are engineers, IT persons, big-game hunters, rodeo
cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,
police officers,
corporate executives, athletes, Marines and generally anyone who works
productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to
work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They
crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying
to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a
Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above
before forwarding it.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other
true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off .
|
|
Reply
Back
Search
Jokes Forum
»
Alabama Lakes
»
Logan Martin Lake
Login
|
Home
