Jokes: Chicken Crosses the Road
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Name:   lakngulf The author of this post is registered as a member - Email Member
Subject:   Chicken Crosses the Road
Date:   11/18/2008 9:29:06 AM

Why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darnit, he's a
maverick!

BARACK OBAMA : The chicken crossed the road because it was time for
change!
The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road

HILLARY CLINTON : When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to
ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about
me.

GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross,and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.

DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that
he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it
goes
after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is
help
him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems
before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a NEW CAR! so that he can just drive across the road
and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
when
the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL : Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain
truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the
other
side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and
as
simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
story
of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish
it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together,
in peace.

BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only
cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This
new
platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?

Other messages in this thread:View Entire Thread
Chicken Crosses the Road - lakngulf - 11/18/2008 9:29:06 AM

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