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| Name: |
HubCap
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| Subject: |
Mad Ramblings and Ponderments
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Date:
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7/28/2011 6:53:48 AM
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What's with the people who put carpeting on the lid of their toilet seat? What are they thinking -- "Gosh, if we have a party there may not be enough standing room; I'd better carpet the toilet too."
Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."
Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded every time we go out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing? Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?
Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "built"?
Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on hold on the phone you hear a radio station?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
How come you have to pay someone to rotate your tires? Isn't that the basic idea behind the wheel? Don't they rotate on their own?
All the king's HORSES and all the king's men? Are you kidding me? No wonder they couldn't put Humpty together again. Just what did those idiots expect the horses to do, anyway?
Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"
Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff."
Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
Did you see these new minivan ads? All they talk about are cup holders, kiddy seats and doors. What kind of advertising is that? When you see an ad for a suit, do they say, "And look at the zipper! Carefully hidden, but easily accessible when you need it!" I think not.
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| Name: |
rude evin
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| Subject: |
Mad Ramblings and Ponderments
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Date:
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7/28/2011 9:45:36 AM
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Easy HubCap................you may be getting real close to JOKE BURNOUT.................you gotta stay strong for da team! :=}
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| Name: |
HubCap
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| Subject: |
Mad Ramblings and Ponderments
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Date:
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7/28/2011 12:09:35 PM
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Sorry about that Rude, Will try to do better in the future ( LOL )
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| Name: |
Mike Finn
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| Subject: |
Mad Ramblings and Ponderments
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Date:
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7/28/2011 8:28:38 PM
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New here and thought I would add a few more:
Why do we park on the driveway and drive on the parkway?
If almond joy has nuts and mounds don't, why do they cost the same?
Pepsi Free-------Doesn't that mean it doesn't have pepsi in it?
send it by ship-Cargo Send it by truck-shipment?
Opposite of Pro=Con....Opposite of Progress=Congress?
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| Name: |
muddauber
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| Subject: |
Mad Ramblings and Ponderments
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Date:
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7/28/2011 8:45:15 PM
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lol. If I could laugh, that is. The last one is just so true.
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| Name: |
HubCap
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| Subject: |
Mad Ramblings and Ponderments
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Date:
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7/29/2011 3:43:54 PM
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They sent my Census form back! AGAIN!!! In response to the question: "Do you have any dependents?" I replied - "12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 42 million unemployable people, 2 million people in over 243 prisons; Half of Mexico; and 535 more in the U.S. House and Senate. Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
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| Name: |
architect
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| Subject: |
Mad Ramblings and Ponderments
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Date:
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7/30/2011 12:02:00 PM
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Hub, you should have added..."The first five I can learn to live with but the last group is drivin me NUTS!"
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| Name: |
muddauber
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| Subject: |
Mad Ramblings and Ponderments
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Date:
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7/30/2011 9:15:54 PM
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Now lol. That is priceless. Sadly, also true.
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