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Name: |
architect
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Subject: |
George Carlin's wit and wisdom
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Date:
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9/4/2010 6:27:57 PM
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14 lesser known of Murphy's Laws:
1/ Light travels faster than sound...That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
2/ He who laughs last thinks slowest
3/ Change is inevitable...except from a vending machine
4/ Those who live by the sword usually get shot by someone who doesn't
5/ Nothing is foolproof to a really talented fool
6/ Statistics has the 50/50/90 rule...Anytime you have a 50/50 chance of getting something right, there is a 90% probability you will get it wrong
7/ If you line up all the cars in the world end to end, some idiot will try to pass them 5 or 6 at a time while drunk, on a hill, in a curve through the fog
8/ If the shoe fits try to get another one just like it except mirror image
9/ The things that come to those who wait will be the stuff left behind by those who got there first
10/ A flashlight is a metal tube used to store dead batteries
11/ Give a man a fish and he eats for a day...teach a man to fish and he will spend all day in a boat drinking beer
12/ The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in the dark
13/ A fine is a tax for doing bad...a tax is a fine for doing good
14/ When you are hauled into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who are so stupid they couldn't get out of jury duty
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