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| Name: |
water_watcher
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| Subject: |
Our Office Xmas Party
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Date:
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12/9/2009 8:58:43 PM
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2008
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23^rd , starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.
There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among
employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
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*Company Memo*
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2008
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often
coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung.
We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
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**Company Memo**
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2008
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name..
I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
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**Company Memo**
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2008
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20^th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.
There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
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**Company Memo**
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2008
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes.
But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!
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**Company Memo**
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2008
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her recent nervous breakdown and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the asylum.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23^rd off with full pay.
Happy Whatever!
Joan
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| Name: |
Talullahhound
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| Subject: |
Our Office Xmas Party
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Date:
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12/9/2009 9:56:45 PM
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LOL. Based on the year that my office had the joy to arrange the festivities, I have to say that this is closer to the truth than it should be. No one is ever happy.
Then, we had our contract workers, whose contract did not allow for paid time off for an office party, so our lawyers would insist that they be excluded unless they were willing to be excused without pay.
It was so much easier when we were a less diverse, less politically correct society.
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| Name: |
MAJ USA RET
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| Subject: |
Southern Office Chrismas Party
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Date:
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12/9/2009 10:19:40 PM
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Fortunately, we here in the South, still have annual office Christmas Parties. Our Jewish, Muslim, and unbelieving co-workers join us in the festivities. The gays, cross-dressers, and lesbians don’t get any impolite notice from anyone. Those who don’t eat meat… don’t. Those who don’t drink alcohol… don’t. Nobody’s panties get in a wad and everyone has a good ol’ time.
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| Name: |
alahusker
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| Subject: |
Pentagon Xmas Parties
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Date:
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12/10/2009 11:42:36 PM
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You have never attended a great office party, if you did not make one in the Pentagon, after hours in the late 1970's. Three stars to Staff Seargeants.. The events were the topic for many nights of wives/husbands questioning what went on.. Guess Hound was never invited.
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| Name: |
Yankee06
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| Subject: |
Pentagon Xmas Parties
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Date:
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12/11/2009 2:12:53 AM
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Ala,
-do you remember the purple water fountain in teh first undergroung level? It played a prominant role in a Jack Anderson column in the Washington Post on Pentagon Xmas parties back in the late 70's. Yes, those were some parties!
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| Name: |
lakngulf
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| Subject: |
Pentagon Xmas Parties
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Date:
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12/11/2009 5:56:49 AM
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So are you saying "nobody's panties got in a wad" but some came off.
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| Name: |
MrHodja
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| Subject: |
Pentagon Xmas Parties
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Date:
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12/11/2009 7:05:07 AM
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Was there 74-78. Remember vividly that anytime directions were given to a basement office, they always started with "from the purple water fountain go...".
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| Name: |
Talullahhound
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| Subject: |
Pentagon Xmas Parties
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Date:
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12/11/2009 7:58:25 AM
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While I know about the purple water fountain, in the 70's I was still in school and had not yet begun my career. I started working in the Pentagon in the 90's. Parties, at least in the Army Staff and the elements of OSD and OJCS that I worked with were pretty sedate. The wild times were pretty much over by then. This was in the wake of Tailhook and the "adultry" scandals that ended a few careers. But, I've heard the stories, of course.
But, when I first started my career and worked out in the field, the whole month of December and it's office parties were legendary. Reputations were made and lost at those parties.
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| Name: |
GoneFishin
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| Subject: |
Pentagon Xmas Parties
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Date:
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12/11/2009 1:12:38 PM
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Sounds like another example of my hard earned taxes at work. But if the RIGHT is spending it for their fun that is OK, I guess.
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| Name: |
Talullahhound
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| Subject: |
Pentagon Xmas Parties
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Date:
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12/11/2009 4:43:00 PM
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Well, in my day, they were usually done during the work day. If they were hallway parties, people probably spent less than 20 minutes there -- just grabbing some food. Other parties were held at the lunchbreak -- starting at around 11:30 and usually ending by 1:30.
The government doesn't pay for the parties per se --- (other than to contribute a bit of comp time), but the attendees usually pay a per person fee.
According to Alahusker, in his day, they were held "after hours"... but then military people are on duty 24/7, so I'm sure what he meant was outside of the normal business day.
Either way, let me assure you GF, tax dollars are not going to waste. When you work in the Pentagon, your normal workday is anywhere from 10 - 14 hours, and you don't get overtime or comp time. It's just the way it is. And it's not unusual to work on Saturdays, if you get behind or if there is something hot. The average turnaround for information is 24 hours.
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| Name: |
alahusker
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| Subject: |
The Purple Water Fountain..
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Date:
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12/11/2009 5:50:21 PM
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Mr. Hodja is scary.. I spent 4 years of my military life (outta the cockpit) within spitting distance of the Purple Water Fountain, (BF 922A, AF/XOOTS.) I suspect that Hound spent her time on the 4th floor and never made it to the basement, but a lot of 4th floor secerataries came to visit. And no, we all chipped in for the celebrations, not a cent of government money, and after duty hours.
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| Name: |
MrHodja
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| Subject: |
The Purple Water Fountain..
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Date:
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12/12/2009 8:39:56 AM
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I ran about 125 joint actions in my four years in the five sided funny farm - mostly just moving around secure voice comm equipment (which were joint assets) and one of my stops for signature may well have been your office. I do remember an XOO?? office (give me a little break on the memory, it was 32 years ago...:>)...) near the PWF that was one of the required signatures. Might have been your office. Small world!
NH
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| Name: |
Talullahhound
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| Subject: |
The Purple Water Fountain..
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Date:
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12/12/2009 9:02:48 AM
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Actually, my office was 3D575. And I spent quite a bit of time in the basement coordinating actions with my counterdrug colleagues in the joint staff. They had their office in the basement. The Army Ops center was also in the basement and I attened the Balcony Brief for the CSA every morning (with probably 50 of my military/civilian colleagues) every day of the first Gulf War.
I did the Army coordination for 45 joint actions for the 5 country counter-drug program in 1990. My purple handbook got a good work out that year. Every counterdrug team that went required 2 actions -- one warning, and one actual dispatch.
By the time I worked in the Pentagon, we never had any Secretaries or even Administrative Assistants. They had all been eliminated. We all did our own actions and carried them around. Now they are all done electronically.
You are certainly dating yourself Alahusker. You probably referred to the secretaries as "the girl" didn't you? Times have changed. I was a GS-14 desk officer when I worked in the Pentagon.
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