| Name: |
George
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| Subject: |
We got him!
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Date:
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5/9/2011 7:29:17 PM
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I am happy to announce that at 10:45 Sunday night Osama Bin Raccoon was killed by a Lake Martin Sniper. OBR has been terrorizing my fish feeder for about 5 weeks. Said feeder sits at the end of my dock over a green monster fish light. I have tried fence wire and a hav-a-heart trap but to no avail. He just shakes the feeder, he has shaken about 50 lbs. of feed out in five weeks. The final straw came Saturday when I was getting my newly cleaned and uncovered pontoon boat off the lift. I discovered that Osama had defecated and urinated on the table. And then while blowing off the roof of my house, found the same type evidence where he was probably watching me try to raccoon-proof my feeder. I declared a jihad at that moment. Sunday night, I went out on the porch at 10:45 and noticed about 30 large fish in a feeding frenzy beneath my feeder. Then I saw him, Osama Bin Raccoon himself, hanging over the side of my feeder. I reached for my Savage .17HMR with scope and BANG! That sucker is loud at 10:45 at night on the water. But that may explain what woke some of you up. A dignified burial at sea was performed about 1/2 second after the said BANG. The whole operation was witnessed by about 30 large fish and there will be no pictures. God Bless America and Lake Martin.
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| Name: |
Summer Lover
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| Subject: |
Bravo
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Date:
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5/10/2011 10:39:48 AM
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Yet another terrorist taken down to preserve the American Way...
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| Name: |
lamont
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| Subject: |
Dear George....
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Date:
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5/10/2011 11:14:00 AM
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2 ?'s
Are you a Navy Seal?
And, did you use enhanced interrogation methods on other animals to determine said Racoon would be out there at 10:45 on Sunday night.
Inquiring minds want to know.
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| Name: |
wishin4fishin
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| Subject: |
We got him!
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Date:
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5/10/2011 11:15:14 AM
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Now if I could only find a way to get rid of Saddam Hussein Squirrel in my attic!
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| Name: |
MrHodja
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| Subject: |
We got him!
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Date:
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5/10/2011 11:34:14 AM
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Warfarin - commercial rat poison - very effective, as they are rodents and like the same thing as their brown kin. If you can get up there to remove the carcass(es) once the poison does its thing......
Had three of them come down my chimney one winter - they kinda rearranged a few things...ate a lot of the rat poison we had out...ended up finding them by nose nestled in a bag of wal mart plastic bags....blissfully sleeping the eternal sleep....
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| Name: |
MrHodja
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| Subject: |
We got him!
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Date:
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5/10/2011 11:37:28 AM
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Or maybe a carbide canon like they have at Disney World that shoots at regular intervals? Or a klaxon that is set to go off att odd intervals when you are not home and you can also set off at your leisure when you are there? Lots of possibilities to scare the living bejeezus out of them so they go set up camp in someone else's attic - or maybe a freaking tree?
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| Name: |
momo
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| Subject: |
We got him!
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Date:
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5/10/2011 12:05:30 PM
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You go George!!!! I'm glad that Bear trap worked for you.
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| Name: |
Jim Dandy
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| Subject: |
Dear George....
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Date:
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5/10/2011 2:32:30 PM
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His story is at conflict with the official version coming out of the WH. Wait a couple of days and I'm sure the truth will come out.
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| Name: |
CAT BOAT
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| Subject: |
Actually...
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Date:
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5/10/2011 4:10:08 PM
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GEORGE hired me as his Private Investigator. After MONTHS of Intelegence, and secretly obtained information I was able to provide rock solid, exact times of the said OBC (Osama Bin Coon) whereabouts, and when he would visit WITHOUT arms. For a small fee, Cathouse can provide such services for others.
CAT,
"specializing in special Ops"
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| Name: |
lamont
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| Subject: |
The Question Remains...
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Date:
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5/10/2011 4:45:09 PM
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Were "Enhanced Interrogation Methods Used?"
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| Name: |
Jim Dandy
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| Subject: |
The Question Remains...
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Date:
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5/10/2011 4:49:47 PM
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Does a 120mph ride in the Cat Boat qualify as waterboarding?
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| Name: |
George
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| Subject: |
Dear George....
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Date:
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5/10/2011 7:47:27 PM
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Lamont, I am not a Navy Seal, but I am M16, .45cal & M60 Tank qualified from the late '60's. Unfortunately, I was not able to interrogate as I feel there are several others in a sleeper cell nearby.
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| Name: |
George
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| Subject: |
We got him!
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Date:
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5/10/2011 7:53:08 PM
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MrHodja, Thanks for the suggestions, but nuthing the feel of a slow trigger pull with the bad guy in the crosshairs. Now I'm scaring myself. Maybe I should get some counseling tomorrow.
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| Name: |
MrHodja
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| Subject: |
We got him!
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Date:
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5/10/2011 9:23:28 PM
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Absolutely agree with your method of dispatch - was trying to help wishin4fishin with squirrels in his attic....
.17 caliber - about the size of a pellet?
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| Name: |
MrHodja
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| Subject: |
We got him!
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Date:
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5/10/2011 9:25:39 PM
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Just looked up .17HMR....looks like a great varmint round...as evidenced by your conquest!
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| Name: |
lamont
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| Subject: |
OK Din George....
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Date:
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5/11/2011 7:53:25 AM
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As long as you didn't waterboard surrounding animals, who knew of this raccoons terrorist activities, it is a justified "kill" in my opinion. Carry on.
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| Name: |
houseboat
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| Subject: |
The Question Remains...
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Date:
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5/11/2011 12:51:52 PM
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I would jump out at around 45!
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