(Gulf Shores - Orange Beach - Perdido Key Specific)
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(Gulf Shores - Orange Beach - Perdido Key Specific)
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| Name: |
Feb
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| Subject: |
Light Humor
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Date:
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11/7/2005 3:25:23 PM
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ROE vs WADE
The mayor of New Orleans was asked about his position on Roe vs Wade.
He said he didn't really care how people got out of the city.
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| Name: |
roswellric
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| Subject: |
Light Humor
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Date:
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11/7/2005 5:33:10 PM
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Bob Hope:
>>ON TURNING 70: "You still chase women, but only downhill."
>>ON TURNING 80: "That's the time of your life when even your
>>birthday suit needs pressing."
>>ON TURNING 90: "You know you're getting old when the candles
>>cost more than the cake."
>>ON TURNING 100: " I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel
>>anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."
>>ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING: "I ruined my hands in
>>the ring ... the referee kept stepping on them."
>>ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR: "Welcome to the Academy Awards
>>or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover.'"
>>ON GOLF: "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to
>>pay the green fees."
>>ON PRESIDENTS: "I have performed for 12 presidents and
>>entertained only six."
>>ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER: "When I was born,
>>the doctor said to my mother, 'Congratulations. You have an
>>eight-pound ham.'"
>>ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL: "I feel very
>>humble, but I think I have the strength of character to
>>fight it."
>>ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY: "Four of us slept in the one
>>bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother."
>>ON HIS SIX BROTHERS: "That's how I learned to dance --
>>waiting for the bathroom."
>>ON HIS EARLY FAILURES: "I would not have had anything to eat
>>if it weren't for the stuff the audience threw at me."
>>ON GOING TO HEAVEN: "I've done benefits for ALL religions.
>>I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."
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| Name: |
4Golf
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| Subject: |
Light Humor
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Date:
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11/7/2005 11:44:30 PM
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A man came home one night, carrying a sheep with him. "This is the pig I've been sleeping with," said the man. His wife answered, "That's not a pig, that's a sheep." The man quickly answered, "I was not talking to you!"
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| Name: |
roswellric
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| Subject: |
Speaking of pig jokes
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Date:
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11/8/2005 9:51:38 AM
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A (insert your favorite) was walking down the street with a pig under his arm. Someone came up to him and asked if he won that at the fair. The pig said yep, I sure did.
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| Name: |
greycove
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| Subject: |
Light Humor
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Date:
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11/8/2005 9:55:06 AM
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Two men walking down a railroad track after partying all day at the rocks. One says, "Boy, these stairs are surely uneven". The other said "It's not the stairs I am worred about, its these tiny little bannisters I have to bend over to hold onto.
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| Name: |
Island Camper
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| Subject: |
Light Humor
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Date:
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11/8/2005 12:15:52 PM
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Two men were walking down Highway 280 when the urge to urinate came upon both. As they approached the River Bridge, they decided to urinate into the lake from the middle of the bridge.
As both men were in process, one man said, "Boy, that water is colder than it looks!"
The other man replied, "I know, and you wouldn't believe how deep it is!"
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| Name: |
roswellric
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| Subject: |
Hmmm
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Date:
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11/8/2005 2:19:16 PM
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I noticed that too...
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| Name: |
BigFoot
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| Subject: |
Hmmm
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Date:
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11/8/2005 4:44:45 PM
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...and did you feel all those rocks on the bottom all the way up the river to the Georgia line.......
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| Name: |
CAT BOAT
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| Subject: |
Jr.'s @ss
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Date:
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11/8/2005 10:12:46 PM
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JIM was walking down 63, after his car broke down at kowaliga maina. After he crossed the bridge, he took a leak in the shallow waters at the boat ramp. Being that he could not touch the water like an earlier post, he got on his knee's so that he could touch the bottom. And low and behold, there he found Jr.'s @ss. It appears that it fell of the drive area of CAT BOATS boat. Finally, Jr.'s @ss is retrieved once and for all.
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| Name: |
Feb
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| Subject: |
Light Humor - French Alert
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Date:
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11/9/2005 12:25:07 PM
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As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General
Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and
"Collaborate".
The rise was precipitated by a recent terrorist fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
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| Name: |
roswellric
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| Subject: |
Light Humor
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Date:
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11/9/2005 5:13:05 PM
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This morning -- from a cave somewhere in Pakistan -- Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar warned the United States that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's supply of convenience store managers. If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next.
It's getting ugly.
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| Name: |
JIM
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| Subject: |
Light Humor
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Date:
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11/10/2005 6:23:29 PM
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Hey, I was down at the Rodeo Club when Miller jr. stumbled in with his a`ss he had found, on his shoulders,after a hard day in classes. This older Lady was sitting there with her pet Duck. Jr. ask where she got the Pig,the older Lady said this is not a Pig it is a Duck, Jr said, I was talking to the Duck.
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| Name: |
JustAGuy
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| Subject: |
Light Humor
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Date:
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11/11/2005 1:53:03 PM
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A cowboy, and Indian, and a Muslim are sitting at a diner counter .... the Indian says ... "Once we were many, now we are few" ...the Muslim says "Once we were few, now we are many" ... the cowboy says "that's because we haven't played cowboys and Muslims yet". :)
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| Name: |
Feb
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| Subject: |
Light Humor - Retirment Fun
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Date:
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11/11/2005 2:13:43 PM
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WORKING PEOPLE FREQUENTLY ASK RETIRED PEOPLE WHAT THEY DO TO MAKE THEIR DAYS INTERESTING. I WENT TO TOWN THE OTHER DAY. I WAS IN A STORE THERE FOR ABOUT 10 MINUTES. WHEN I CAME OUT THERE WAS A CITY COP WRITING OUT A PARKING TICKET. I WENT UP TO HIM AND SAID, "COME ON, BUDDY, HOW ABOUT GIVING A SENIOR A BREAK?"
HE IGNORED ME AND CONTINUED WRITING THE TICKET. I CALLED HIM A PIG. HE GLARED AT ME AND STARTED WRITING ANOTHER TICKET FOR HAVING WORN TIRES. SO I CALLED HIM A WORSE NAME. HE FINISHED THE SECOND TICKET AND PUT IT ON THE WINDSHIELD WITH THE FIRST. THEN HE STARTED WRITING A THIRD
TICKET. THIS WENT ON FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES. THE MORE I ABUSED HIM THE MORE TICKETS HE WROTE.
I DIDN'T CARE. MY CAR WAS PARKED AROUND THE CORNER AND THIS ONE HAD A, "HILLARY IN '08" BUMPER STICKER ON IT.
I TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN EACH DAY NOW THAT I'M RETIRED.
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| Name: |
4Golf
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| Subject: |
You crack me up FEB
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Date:
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11/13/2005 8:46:53 PM
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Good one!!
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