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Name:	DwightSchrute -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/29/2006 3:02:17 AM

I have decided to give the final, definitive, and correct answer to this so-called boat controversy. I haven’t studied the problem at all, but I don’t need to, for I have two powerful tools—super-powers, if you will—at my disposal. They are logic, and one other one that I can’t remember at the moment, but it doesn’t matter, because it is always there when I need it… whatever it is.

There is an old saying: Might Makes Right. And what is mightier, something big, or something small? The answer: big. This, of course, goes against sayings such as “The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword,” but I’m ignoring those old sayings, because they don’t help my argument.

What was better: the Death Star, or the planet Alderran? The Death Star, of course, because it blew that planet to smithereens. And which was bigger? Death Star, of course. The Death Star was really big, 900 kilometers in diameter; if you’re one of those who believe that 160 kilometers is the real answer, well, you’re just wrong. The Death Star held 27,048 officers, 774,576 crew including troopers, pilots and officials, 400,000 support workers and over 25,000 Imperial Stormtroopers. It also carried assault shuttles, Skipray Blastboats, strike cruisers, drop ships, land vehicles, and support ships as well as 7,200 TIE fighters. Do you really think all of those people could live on something that had a diameter of only 160 kilometers? Get a life.

And what finally destroyed The Death Star? A tiny X-Wing Fighter, piloted by Luke Skywalker… who used The Force, which as anyone knows is as big as the entire universe, bigger even that The Death Star.

Closer to home, what animal is the King of the Jungle? The lion. And what animal is the largest in the jungle? Not the lion, BUT if you ignore wrinkly animals like elephants, rhinoceri, and hippopotami, then the lion is the biggest. And the fastest, not counting the cheetah.

So the bottom line is, big boats are better than little boats, because Bigger is Better. Except when it comes to pee-pee size, and then it’s definitely not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean. And anyway, you can always overcome feelings of inadequacy caused by a small pee-pee by buying a big boat.

Name:	Lakeman -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/29/2006 7:06:33 AM

May the force be with you. I think?

Name:	CAT BOAT -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/29/2006 7:18:57 AM

That was interesting.

Name:	roswellric -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/29/2006 7:38:30 AM

That was odd....very odd.

Name:	Smitty -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/29/2006 7:42:19 AM

Maybe that really should be your final word.

Name:	BigFoot -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/29/2006 8:16:36 AM

.....stop it....stop it......you'se guys are killin' me....killin' me......

Name:	lamont -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/29/2006 8:22:06 AM

Considering the time of the post, methinks Dwight may have been hitting the sauce.

Name:	roswellric -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/29/2006 8:51:46 AM

But what time was it on the Death Star?

Name:	Island Camper -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/29/2006 9:06:42 AM

What is the greatest thread ever on this message board? This one. Except for 2 or 3 hundred others. But those don't count, so this thread is the greatest.

Name:	Maverick -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/29/2006 10:37:40 AM

To say the least - Think he was smoking left handed cigarettes or somehting.

Name:	PikeSki -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/29/2006 11:06:49 AM

Sorry to burst your galactic bubble but I just read a news post that says that the Intergalactic senate has just passed a law stating that no vehicle including Skipray Blastboats, strike cruisers, drop ships, land vehicles, support ships, and TIE fighters may be larger than 25 feet in length because anything larger causes space waves which can travel through space and damage private space ports and docking stations.

What are you drinking or smoking . . . I want some ! Can i get it at Store 34?

Name:	joyrider -	Reply
Subject:	Now THAT
Date:	3/29/2006 11:51:23 AM

was the funniest thing "I" have read in while!!
Thanks for the laugh PikeSki!

The original post wasn't funny,... it was down right scarey!

Name:	cornpone -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/29/2006 6:53:04 PM

I am a frequent reader of the site but rarely have posted. We are summertime residents of the lake and are hoping Dwight is just visiting from his home planet and is not a resident at the lake. We are still unsure of Dwight's official position on the big boat issue---????
Looking forward to a safe and fun boating season on beautiful lake martin.

Name:	jawjagal -	Reply
Subject:	Dwight!!!!!!!!!
Date:	3/29/2006 7:23:23 PM

Who cares what Dwight says. He's Dwight -

...from THE OFFICE, Thursday nights, 9:30 pm EST, NBC.

I've been saying for over a month...don't miss it. Be ready to laugh!

Dwight - you're the man!!!!!!!!!

Name:	4Golf -	Reply
Subject:	The Final Word
Date:	3/30/2006 12:07:00 PM

Dwight, that has to be the funniest thing I have ever read. Are you syndicated? And I'm not surprised that Jawja picked up on the Office reference...but a little too much Star Wars knowledge is a dangerous thing...

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