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Name:	Barneget -	Reply
Subject:	Cash for Codgers
Date:	8/20/2009 5:57:02 PM

News Release – Washington, DC

August 20, 2009

CASH FOR CODGERS

Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan. President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named.... "CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this... Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts. Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party. Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies. All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.

Let me get this straight.
We're going to maybe have a health care plan written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it,
passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it, signed by a president that also hasn't read it and who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and
financed by a country that's nearly broke. What could possibly go wrong?

Name:	Talullahhound -	Reply
Subject:	Cash for Codgers
Date:	8/20/2009 6:15:41 PM

LOL, but not too hard, given my age.

Name:	DJ -	Reply
Subject:	news flash
Date:	8/20/2009 6:24:26 PM

Abe and George both just turned over in their graves! I know this cause my forefathers just rolled over and sent a shiver up my spine with the message from George and Abe!

Name:	JustAGuy -	Reply
Subject:	Cash for Codgers
Date:	8/20/2009 8:21:32 PM

I figured out how to settle my health care needs .... I hereby announce my candidacy for Congress. :)

Thanks .. that gave me a chuckle (the first part, not the second).

Name:	rude evin -	Reply
Subject:	Cash for Codgers
Date:	8/20/2009 10:45:17 PM

You're right JAG.......the closer to the truth, the less the humour............ :-))

Name:	MartiniMan -	Reply
Subject:	Cash for Codgers
Date:	8/21/2009 2:21:08 PM

JAG, you have my vote if you promise me a government job so my health care can also be taken care of.....

Name:	Summer Lover -	Reply
Subject:	Cash for Codgers
Date:	8/21/2009 4:42:12 PM

How about "Czar of Aquatic Fairness and Distribution"

Name:	JustAGuy -	Reply
Subject:	Cash for Codgers
Date:	8/21/2009 11:04:09 PM

I hereby announce that MM will be my Czar of Martinis :) (Although I am more a margarita man myself .. I assume you can either make a mean margarita ... or you can appoint an assistant to do the job) ... Now if I can just figure out a way to keep people out of my "skeleton closet".... as a candidate, snopes.com is now my mortal enemy. :)

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