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(Lake Martin Specific)
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Name:
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CAT BOAT
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Subject:
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Craigs list??????
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Date:
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11/20/2009 4:39:39 PM
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> AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
>
>
>
> To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date:
> 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
>
> I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I
> hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend,
> threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and
> earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important
> message.
>
> First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to
> actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.
> The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My
> girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my
> birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.
> Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at
> your head ... isn't it?!
>
> I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with
> that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking
> bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with
> me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help
> mug us again].
>
> After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I
> explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up
> my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on
> your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was
> extremely grateful!
>
> I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
> all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
>
> I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at
> the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the
> entire driver's side of the car.
>
> Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell
> just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little
> over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in
> two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while
> mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
>
> The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while
> he traced your number etc.).
>
> In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this
> type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened
> crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather
> immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity
> to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to
> pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
>
> Have a good day!
>
> Thoughtfully yours,
>
> Alex
>
> P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil
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